I WRITE with regard the horrific case of a lady finding a caterpillar in a Tesco sandwich. What a horrible experience this must have been - for the caterpillar.
Did anyone think of asking whether Asda was also giving away a free insect as this would have affected the Tesco Price Promise. Did the lady own up about the insect, understanding that she may have been charged more for the bonus filling and finally was the insect of foreign origin and munch with a foreign accent?
If it was the latter Insect Immigration should have been contacted in order that to enter the UK the caterpillar was made aware of its rights that as it came from outside of the UK it was automatically entitled to a free car, a free business, free treatment on the Insect NHS etc.
Of course if it was a British caterpillar it would have been unentitled to any of those things but may have been a protected species and a crime committed if it was munched. It will also have been a member of the Green Party.
I hope the lady in question prayed to her deity in thanks for the unexpected filling and of course I don’t have to ask whether she put it out in her garden.