"You’ll die in 2 weeks unless we remove your voice box,” Brighton musical theatre teacher told by doctors

Marc, who had surgery and was still in hospital when lockdown was enforced said: “I was diagnosed with a rare form of thyroid cancer in March 2020. It had spread to my larynx, and I was told, ‘you’ll die in two weeks unless we remove your voice box’. I used to sing and be a performer, a coach and a teacher, all led by my voice, so this news was devastating but they told me that removing my voice box was the only way to keep me alive.

“The day lockdown was enforced, me and other throat cancer patients were all pushed into a side ward to separate us from the rest of the hospital. I was due to stay in hospital for two weeks, but my surgeon suggested I was well enough to leave after eight days which I did. I am the only one from my ward who survived. The others died of Covid. My surgeon saved my life twice in just over a week.”

Marc then went into isolation as he continued to have radiotherapy on his head and neck and didn’t see anyone apart from his husband and dog for a year. During this time he was introduced to Macmillan’s Horizon Connect, an online support group set up by the Macmillan Horizon Centre in Brighton.

Marc said: “My surgeon may have saved my life physically, but Macmillan saved my life from a mental health perspective. My cancer is incurable so, aged 45, I could no longer work as a performer and coach which left me feeling useless.

“The group was a lifeline, and we would meet every Friday morning online. It was just good to talk to others in a similar position particularly as all other NHS background services had just stopped.

“I started attending the Horizon centre in 2021 and noticed that more women than men were seeking support and felt I wanted to do something to address this knowing how much I had benefitted from the help I have received.

“In early 2022, our group lost a dear friend called Mick. He was a fellow Horizon Connect member and volunteer and had been diagnosed with cancer at a similar time to me, so his loss was a real blow. It seemed right to set up a group in his name as he was a great advocate for improving people’s health and wellbeing so, Mick’s MOT (Men Only Tuesdays) was born!”

Previous Macmillan analysis showed that although 51% of those diagnosed with cancer are men, in 2020 only 31% of calls to the Macmillan Support Line came from men.Marc: said “We need to acknowledge that men’s needs can be different from women and sometimes men only spaces can be really beneficial to them.

“We meet twice a month at the Horizon Centre and the group lasts for an hour and a half with discussion usually centring around a theme. People can join in for as much or as little as they like or not at all. No judgments are made, and no commitment is required.“All men and people who identify as men are welcome of all ages and those either living with cancer or caring for others who are.”

Marc runs the support group with Victor, a fellow volunteer at the Macmillan Horizon Centre and joint founder of Mick’s MOT.

Victor, aged 60, worked as cabin crew for BA for 34 years and was treated for kidney cancer in 2016 said: “I think the younger generation is better than mine at going to the GP but when I was growing up our dads would say, “man up, stand up,” if we encountered problems or “dust yourself off and get on with it.”

“I think these words still echo through our memory and so when men are ill or going through lengthy cancer treatment, they don’t always talk about what they are going through or seek support which can be really important for their mental wellbeing.

“Our members have all sorts of cancers, both specific to men and otherwise and range in age from 30s to 80s. Some have young families and others from the older generation share their wisdom and life experiences.”

Victor also volunteers at the Royal Sussex County Hospital every week, visiting patients on the ward whilst they receive their chemotherapy and sees first-hand how they benefit from a chat, often about things totally unrelated to their treatment.

Victor adds: “Some men who visit the centre just want a chat and that’s fine too. I often suggest we meet for a coffee as a first step and then the rest depends on them, as and when they are ready. My Macmillan nurse suggested a similar thing to me when I was first diagnosed with kidney cancer, but I said I was fine. It was eight months later that I broke down and looked into what support was on offer. I didn’t realise how good it could be.”

Mick’s MOT takes place every first and third Tuesday of the month from 5 - 6.30pm at the Macmillan Horizon Centre in Brighton. To find out more email: [email protected].

If you have questions about cancer visit: macmillan.org.uk or call the Macmillan Support Line on 0800 808 0000.