Sussex columnist: Starting 2023 confused and full of cheese...

I haven’t even opened my mint and orange Matchmakers yet, and don’t get me started on the amount of cheese I still need to gobble my way through.

In my house, we never learn. Every year, like millions of other households up and down the UK, we over-buy festive treats in the run-up to Christmas. And then, my husband insists we can’t touch any of them until about five minutes before Christmas Day.

Imagine little old me, hungry in the week-long run up to Christmas. We have 85 tubs/tubes/special festively packaged crisps, chocolates, nuts and snacks in the cupboard. But am I allowed to open them? Nope!

“They’re for Christmas”, hubby insists. “But this is Christmas,” I protest, on a day where I sang Christmas songs all the way to and from our journey to meet Santa, wore a Christmas pudding jumper, wrapped presents and generally spent the day enshrined in festive cheer.

He stands firm: “No, they’re for the actual Christmas week,” he declares, as my hopes of a festive beige buffet evaporate. I seek out other healthy sustenance instead (salted caramel Magnum, in case you wondered), and leave the festive food mountain for another day. Only, that day never really comes, because what we always forget is that on Christmas Day, there’s a whole lot of other food to be dealing with. There really is no need for Treeselets when you have 8kg of roast potatoes to chomp on. And even I would struggle to eat a Terry’s Chocolate Orange when I’ve already had two portions of yule log.

Boxing Day was the same, having dined on a huge portion of Christmas day leftovers. And then the next day, we had a buffet at my parents’ house, followed by a pub lunch the next day before heading to Glow Wild.

I don’t like to say ‘I told you so’ (who am I kidding? Of course I do!), but as I opened the Christmas pudding on January 2, I couldn’t help letting my husband know that we’d started the annual Christmas stuffing (of our faces) a little bit late this year.

I’d like to say we’ll learn from our mistake next year, but after almost 20 years together, I’m pretty sure we haven’t ever had a January where I spend my evenings without a box of Elizabeth Shaw mints in my lap.

So, as the rest of the world embraces Dry January/Veganuary/a souped-up fitness routine, you’ll find me baking camembert to be mopped up with pigs in blankets.

I’m nothing if not dedicated to the cause…!

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I might not have eaten much festive food in the week leading up to Christmas, but I packed in lots of festive fun.

I enjoyed Sussex Symphony Orchestra’s Christmas Spectacular concert in Hove with my parents, a yummy curry with a friend visiting from California at the Mahaan, a Christmas meal in Pitch with a couple of girl friends followed by some special festive cocktails in Vudu.

Then, there was a trip to Winkworth Arboretum where we completed The Snowman trail, and a day at the Tulleys Farm Christmas experience making reindeer food, decorating gingerbread, watching shows and meeting the main man himself – Father Christmas.

We also fitted in a bit of Christmas shopping, met some friends and spent Christmas Eve afternoon at The Connaught, watching Matilda the Musical.

Add in some post-Christmas fun including Christmas lights walks, the aforementioned trip to Glow Wild at Wakehurst, a visit to Chichester for the children to spend some Christmas money and a trip to the pantomime (oh no we didn’t, oh yes we did!) and it was a magical, fun-filled couple of weeks.

Now, in my cheese-filled stupor, I just need to readjust to returning to work, doing the school run and finding time to actually clean and tidy my house. Wish me luck – I might need a (post) Christmas miracle to achieve it all!