Weekly ents guide and a talking dog? I am too good to you people.
I have had a fair few surreal experiences in journalism - interviewing a local councillor about anti-semitic slurs at a urinal, chasing TV's king of bling David Dickinson through Coventry town centre, being mistaken for a political commentator by Boris Johnson - but yesterday may have topped the lot.
When the PR people first suggested bringing Churchill the dog into Observer HQ we were fairly non-plussed, but as the hour got nearer even the most cynical hacks among us began to get excited.
And in the end the half hour we spent together will certainly be one for the memoirs - I can reveal though he was a gentleman, if a tough interviewee (very black and white on most issues).
I am worried though the picture of him reading the Observer looks like the photos kidnappers use to prove hostages are still alive - as if we were demanding a ransom from the eponymous elephant of elephant.co.uk and the Admiral parrot.
Anyhow, onto this week's picks and there's the usual array of stuff to satisfy you culture vultures.
Tomorrow night sees brilliant Irish punk band
Neck at The Crypt. Lead singer Leeson O Keefe once played with Shane MacGowan's band The Popes and this pedigree shines through in their high energy sets.
There's the usual high calibre line up at
Laugh It Up at Venuu on Tuesday, with headliner Junior Simpson one of the most accomplished performers working in the UK today.
A definite must this week is
Telstar: The Joe Meeks Story at the Electric Palace on Wednesday. This eulogy to 1960s London and the madness and mayhem of the emerging pop music scene personified in producer Meeks is beautifully shot and eerily sad.
And also on Wednesday the launch of the new art projects at
The Rooms in Western Road looks exciting, with a fascinating range of local artists and an accompanying sound and animation show at The Space, King's Road.
And the full-length Beardyman review is now
here - the one in the paper got cut to ribbons but now appears in its full glory.
Sound good? Oh Yesssss. (I am so sorry)