Dusting off an old local pub joke

AFTER reading the article from Sol Buckner and Richard Gladstone (Last Orders at the Bar).

I wondered if your readers would be amused by this joke we found when clearing my late fathers possessions. It takes a little bit of reading but it is a joke relating to public houses of Hastings.

I saw the JOLLY FISHERMAN raise the ROYAL STANDARD to OLD KING JOHN when the BELL struck eight.

HOPE INN to see PRINCE ALBERT and the DUKE OF WELLINGTON with his COACH AND HORSES, JENNY LIND, riding her BLACK HORSE, cried “who will VOLUNTEER to hold the KICKING DONKEY?”.

Then up came the CRICKETERS with their LITTLE BROWN JUG, followed by the BRITISH QUEEN, who saw the BULL INN the ODDFELLOWS ARMS.

Little BO PEEP had lost her sheep, but that was one of the FORTUNES OF WAR, and she still had a BIRD IN HAND. With GEORGE, acting as PILOT, they passed through the WARRIOR’S GATE to the FOUNTAIN and fell in the DRIPPING WELL, the CLOWN being FIRST IN, LAST OUT, but they dried their clothes in the RISING SUN, hanging them on THREE OAKS.

We do not know the origins of the above but it is printed on a blank postcard and lists many of the pubs featured in your closure list, some of which closed as early as 1956, so he must have had it for a number of years.

Linda Webb

Shirley Drive

St. Leonards