Thom Kofoed: On Sally Field and pelican crossings
Thom Kofoed goes after council cash in this week's blog.
I had a whole different plan of what I was going to write today but the public spoke and I must listen. In the office yesterday it was bought to my attention that a lot of people are not happy with a certain change that's taken place recently in the Old Town and as I am the voice of a generation I felt it important to speak up.
Actually in a lot of ways I'm like Sally Field in the widely acclaimed 1979 smash hit 'Norma Rae' about a woman who meets a union organiser whilst working in a cloth factory and decides that the standards that her and her fellow workers work under are unacceptable and fights for change.
Except instead of standing up on a weaving-table in the middle of a factory wearing a sweat stained shirt and apron, hair scraped back in a dirty mess of a ponytail, pained expression on my face and shouting "UNION, UNION", I am sitting in my living room, watching the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards in denim cut-offs eating shredded wheat and shouting "WHAT THE FLIP IS UP WITH THE NEW TRAFFIC LIGHTS ON THE CORNER OF JERWOOD AND ROCK-A-NORE?"
Oddly enough though, like Norma Rae my hair is scraped back in a dirty mess of a ponytail and I do have a pained expression on my face (Lady GaGa accepting an award in a dress made of meat-that woman should be shot)- I guess to some extent we're all the same, huh.
Seriously though, what genius decided it would be a great idea to whack a set of traffic lights up 15metres from a zebra crossing and another set of traffic lights? I mean come on!
At this stage I am willing to admit I don't know all the logistics behind this decision, nor do I know what research (if any) was done that proved that an extra set was a necessity. It is indeed possible that this decision is vital to ensure Hastings remains safe but I'm gonna go out on a whim and say that it's all just a bunch of poppycock.
I do understand that the Jerwood is coming and safe access to it is essential but gimme a break. If that's the main motivation and I dare to say that it is, then don't you think we can slow down a tad? - The flipping thing isn't even built yet. Furthermore, as Carl pointed out yesterday, if that is the case should there not be some study into a) how busy the Jerwood is gonna be and b) how many people are gonna be so desperate to reach aforementioned gallery that they won't walk the 15 metres to the zebra crossing to get there.
I would imagine, and as you know I'm not one to judge, that the pleb who stood up and suggested that we need another pelican crossing was raised badly. I say this because as all of us who were lucky enough to be blessed with responsible parents were told on numerous occasions growing up-you never cross the road on a corner, dummy.
Also a source has told me (I've always wanted to say source when writing but I wanted to wait until I had a genuine 'source' before doing so. I mean yes, in this case the said 'source' I'm talking about is a woman I met briefly at a bus stop and yes, when I say she told me, I mean I overheard her on the phone to her husband whilst I was looking for a cheese and onion pasty in the bottom of my bag but a source is a source so whatever) that the council ' allegedly' have all this extra money burning a hole in their pockets and they're spending it on all these things that we don't really need cos if they don't it'll be snatched away-hence the new traffic lights.
If my source can be trusted (and I don't see why a middle-aged woman waiting for the number 22 bus in a fleece with the words 'Elvis has NOT left the building' emblazoned on the back can't be trusted) then I can think of a bunch of stuff that the money can be spent on and, in case anybody from the council actually reads this I have attached an open letter for them below.
Dear Council/Head of the traffic light division,
I just broke my favourite pair of converse boots and I could really do with 35 to buy a new pair.
Please send directly to the Hastings Observer and somebody there will be sure to get the money to me.
Take Care,
Thom
For more from Thom visit www.thomatronics.com or follow him on twitter @thomkofoed
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Weather for Hastings
Tuesday 29 May 2012
Today
Light rain
Temperature: 11 C to 21 C
Wind Speed: 10 mph
Wind direction: West
Tomorrow
Sunny spells
Temperature: 12 C to 18 C
Wind Speed: 14 mph
Wind direction: South
