Thom Kofoed: It doesn't even look like Hastings in Jamie Oliver's ad
It doesn't even look like Hastings, Lisa said, waiting in the kitchen for butternut squash frittata in her tres desirable pleated sparrow skirt.
'It looks lovely.'
'I still haven't seen it.' I replied, passing her a glass of water and taking a sip of my own.
We were of course talking about the Jamie Oliver for Sainsbury's advert-The one he filmed recently in various hot spots throughout the town.
I've since YouTubed the ad and I have to agree with Lease-Hastings looks bloody beautiful.
And before the haters start hating, I'm not saying that Hastings is totally unfortunate looking. You certainly wouldn't avoid it if it walked in to your Auntie's 60th Birthday party leaving it alone in the corner with a plate full of mini quiche Lorraines whilst you dance it up to the Grease Medley with Great Uncle Jack by the bar.
I'm just saying that Jamie Oliver worked his magic. He came down, threw around a couple of "Easy Brothers" and made Hastings look chuffing brilliant. In fact I think if somebody from say, Walthamstow saw the advert they may not even realise we have one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the country-I really don't think you can tell.
So I've been thinking-Jamie comes down for one day, walks around Hastings, shouts some things to camera about the benefits of organic produce with a bit of a cheeky grin and gets us on the tele. I say we invite him back down for a long weekend and see what other publicity we can drum up for ourselves.
We could get local artist and new talk of the town Ben Eine to paint a series of pixilated murals of Jamie first buying then preparing and finally feeding a Beef Wellington to some underprivileged Hastonians around a 'Last Supper' type dinner table covered in vines and plaited ciabatta loaves. This would cement Jamie's image as the world's 21st century saviour (as we all know he is) and Hastings would get a brand new tourist attraction to lure people over from Eastbourne and Battle on the bus.
And as those of you who are watching the quite frankly brilliant 'Jamie's American food Revolution' know, Jamie is used to being misquoted in local newspapers. With this in mind we could bogart the front cover of the Observer, whack a couple of photoshopped photographs of Jamie standing on Winkle Island wearing an 'I heart Hastings' t-shirt below the entirely fabricated headline:
'"I've travelled the world and have not yet found a town more perfect than this one. Jools, the kids and I have already rented a chalet and plan on spending next summer making mini, organic garlic, thyme and anchovy baked potatoes and handing them out to the hardworking fisherman down by the Stade." Says TV Chef'.
It's a work in progress headline but you get the idea.
Truth be told, it wasn't just Jamie, a lick of paint and some magic camera trickery that made Hastings look good on that ad. Hastings is actually dead pretty. All the advert has done is remind us that actually this town is more than teenage pregnancy, the occasional ASBO or racially motivated knife attack. It's given us all a bit of a boost.
The ad will run nationwide and it says to the rest of the country 'Guys, don't believe what you read, we're actually alright.'
It's like when you get a new hair cut and your Nan says "Oh, haven't you got pretty eyes? I never noticed before because of that big clumpy fringe you had." It's still a compliment, it just leaves a bitter after taste in your mouth cos you had those eyes the whole time and your Nan's just admitted she thought you were a minger.
I'm not sure that example works exactly but there you have it, moving on. Anyway, two thumbs up Jamie Oliver, two massive thumbs up to you and Hastings and all that we created together- may it forever be a record of how brilliant we both truly are.
For more from Thom visit www.thomatronics.com or follow him on twitter @thomkofoed.
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Weather for Hastings
Tuesday 29 May 2012
Today
Light rain
Temperature: 11 C to 21 C
Wind Speed: 10 mph
Wind direction: West
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Sunny spells
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