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Winners of sexual health poetry competition revealed

The winners of a sexual themed poetry competition have been announced.

Ore Clinic in Old London Road invited Observer readers to write a poem based around either chlamydia or contraception for National Contraceptive Awareness Week.

Organisers recieved a large number of entries from people of all ages - including one pensioner aged 77.

There were two categories - one for over 25s and one for under 25s.

The winning entry in each category was given a 50 voucher, donated by the local chlamydia screening programme and Laycock Pharmacy.

They will be displayed in Priory Meadow Shopping Centre on Saturday (February 9) as part of a display for National Contraceptive Awareness Week.

First place in the under 25s was Marie Kreft, aged 25 with her poem Self Preservation.

Self Preservation

When we were small, it seemed so funny

To whisper words like rubber johnnie.

Stiff and balls would make us die...

Thinking back I still know why.

Rhymes in the playground, songs on the bus,

No one in this world's as hilarious as us.

We don't quite know how babies grow,

Something to do with seeds men sow?

Not much older, acting tall,

How we thought we knew it all.

Growing up became a race,

Watching others, saving face.

Gossip in the classroom, whispers after gym,

Who fancies her and who'd kiss him?

Lydia Chlamydia does it for a fiver,

She caught the flu from a boy's saliva.

Still young, but having made mistakes,

Aware of twists a young life makes.

Though proud to say my slate's now clean,

I now know what can pass unseen.

Phonecalls after midnight, meetings in a bar,

Slow down, please, don't go too far.

I'll have fun but keep my health,

And most of all, protect myself.

Joint first place in the over 25s was Caroline White, 36, with her poem Contraception.

Contraception

Don't be shy don' be silly

Wear a condom on that willy.

Why I hear you cry,

Cos I don't want an STI.

Contraception is the way to go.

For safer sex so now you know.

Sharing first place with Caroline was Loving you is so exciting by Amber Rudd.

Loving you is so exciting

Darling, let is spend the nigh,

Sashay past St Mary-s Castle,

Home to bed, dim the light,

I'll move your world throughout the night.

Oh, honeyed words are most enticing,

Loving you is so exciting.

But why dear heart, did you not mention,

What we'll do for contraception?

Don't you worry, we'll be fine,

Take a risk, just this time,

Tonight's for pleasure, take a chance,

Think of now, and our romance.

Oh, darling you are less appealing,

What you say is so revealing,

If risk is in your mood and speech,

How about bingo on the beach?

Organiers also wanted to give a special mention to pensioner Tony Brooks who just missed out in the over 25s section and, having clearly caught the poetry bug, entered a short poem in the under 25s even though he knew he couldn't win. Here is it:

There was a young lady named Lydia,

Whose sex life just couldn't be giddier,

She cared not a rap for the pox or clap,

But was frightened to death of chlamydia.

What do you think of the winning entries? Do you like them? Could you have done better? Leave your comments below.

 
 
 

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